Define success.
Police barricades restrain the
frenzied crowd as the white
stretch limo pulls up to the
curb. A handsome young man steps
out of the vehicle as his fans
leaned over the partition,
screaming for his autograph.
I see this presented on
television and in magazines as
an image of success. Money and
glamour are not the standards I
use.
For me to consider myself
successful, I first will have to
earn the respect of both my
superiors and my peers. This
respect won't come solely from
achievements and abilities,
although that will be part of
it. But it must also come from
the values they see me practice.
I want to be respected not for
money or grades or titles, but
because I help improve the lives
of the people around me.
By my standards, success is
about more than what you do. My
success as a person depends on
the support of family and
friends. They help me achieve
success, and they are a part of
that success. If I neglected
those relationships to move up
the career ladder, then my
success would be empty.
Finally, success is personal.
When I graduate with a
bachelor's degree, I want to
feel that I left the university
better than when I arrived. Of
course I want recognition from
my teachers and fellow students,
and of course I want my family
and friends to be proud of me.
But I also want to know that I
put forth my best effort, and to
me, being able to look yourself
in the mirror is part of
success.
What work of art, music,
science, mathematics or
literature has surprised or
unsettled or challenged you, and
in what way?
The explosion was vast in
magnitude. Light illuminated the
infinite darkness of space, as
matter hurtled outward from its
primal source.
This is the Big Bang Theory of
how our universe began some
fifteen billion years ago. If we
look through a sophisticated
telescope, we can still see a
miniscule portion of that
matter, consolidated into
galaxies, still racing away from
its celestial womb.
The origin and destination of
that matter are a challenge to
my imagination. It could have
come from a previous universe
that collapsed upon itself. Then
again, it could have been a
divine force that sparked its
inception.
Either way, that leaves the
question of whether our universe
will expand infinitely, or
collapse into a new primal mass.
If collapse is the answer, then
I wonder if some species will be
here in our place, and whether
another species was here before
us. I wonder whether we are the
only beings formed from this
universe soup, and if we will
ever bump into the neighbors.
On clear nights, I like to
stargaze. I wonder how many of
those stars still exist, since
it takes tens of thousands of
years for the light to reach us,
and many of those suns have
burned up their gaseous fuel and
devolved into cold, dark masses.
I wonder how long we will be
here.
However we got here, and however
long we get to stay, the time is
precious to me, and the process
is beautiful.
What is your favorite word,
and why?
The baby hits the air, and
begins to cry, letting us know
that she's here, and she's ready
for life.
Life impresses me. In my science
classes, I marvel at how
sophisticated the human brain
and body are. I look under the
microscope to view amoebas and
paramecia, and I'm struck by how
we came from such tiny
beginnings.
How we treat life is the
defining act of our existence.
I flick on CNN, and immediately
see war and destruction. Life is
precious to me, so it concerns
me that we conduct our disputes
in any way that interrupts it.
But I also see many acts of
kindness in times of crisis,
many people working to nurture
and support life.
Paradoxically, the same medical
research we do to preserve life
can turn into a weapon of mass
destruction in the wrong hands.
We've had mixed success treating
non-human life on our planet
with respect. We've been able to
conserve and protect many
species, but we've managed to
extinguish nearly as many with
carelessness or selfish purpose.
As a member of the highest form
of life on our planet, I feel a
deep responsibility to
contribute to the quality of
life of human beings as well as
our plant and animal
cohabitants.
I plan to spend my time at the
University
of
Virginia
learning how to foster my
favorite word: life.
What are the three
words that best describe you,
and why?
Fortunate, confident,
concerned-this is how I would
describe myself in three words.
I have been fortunate enough to
have access to good schools and
extracurricular activities. I
have parents who love and
support me both emotionally and
economically. Our home is
comfortable, our friends are
plentiful, and we have had the
opportunity to travel and
observe many cultures.
This supportive environment has
nurtured the confidence I now
possess. When presented with a
challenge-academic, athletic or
interpersonal-I approach it with
the attitude that I can handle
what comes. This confidence has
helped me push through difficult
situations, and keep sight of
whatever goals I set for myself.
Despite my privilege and my
confidence, I am also extremely
concerned. I love the natural
beauty of our world and the
diversity of its people. I enjoy
living on
Long Island
's seashore, but I know that we
have to take care of our waters,
wilderness and atmosphere to
maintain this quality of life.
I'm also concerned that not
everyone gets to enjoy these
aspects of life. They are busy
trying to make ends meet, or
even trying to stay alive. We
not only need to treat our
planet well, we need to treat
each other with respect.
I plan to use my fortunate
circumstances, my confidence,
and my concern to make the most
of a university education, and
graduate ready to go out into
the world and work for the
values I hold.
COMMENTS:
Even before the admissions
officer begins to read the text
of these essays, she already
sees that the applicant has used
a consistent structure. Each
essay features several short
paragraphs, giving the pages at
least the visual impression of
cohesiveness. The advisability
of such short paragraphs
notwithstanding, this
applicant's effort to organize
all the essays similarly is to
be commended and emulated.
Still, there is some stylistic
variation within the set. For
example, she has responded
rather creatively in the
"Influential work of art or
science," and "Favorite word"
essays, while she has taken a
more traditional approach to the
"Define success," "Intellectual
interests" and "Three words that
describe you" essays. All the
essays clearly share the same
author, but she allows her
poetic self to shine through in
the more creative essays and
sticks to a straightforward,
expository style in the other
three. By doing so, she
presents herself as a
multifaceted thinker, one likely
capable of synthesizing her
"selves" and producing truly
original academic work at the
university level.
