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Marketing communications copywriter Charlie Trumpess
takes a humorous look at how best to tackle that age
old terror, the job interview.
Let's face it, job interviews are about as much fun
as a hot wax with no anaesthetic. After all,
attempting to showcase your talents to a bunch of
strangers, usually against the clock and on someone
else's turf is not a natural act. Nevertheless, if
you really want the job then you have to crack the
interview conundrum. Giving 'good interview' is all
about the three Ps - preparation, presentation and
positive thinking. All interviews are basically made
of the same hellish stuff, so let's start at the
beginning with the introductions.
The
interview introduction can be a slippery customer
and one that can easily get away from you. Once you
enter that chamber of horrors commonly known as the
interview room, you're on your own, never sure if
you're saying or doing the right thing. The harder
you try to relax the more nervous you seem to feel.
Simply stringing a coherent sentence together seems
like one of the labours of Hercules. Of course the
room is unbearably hot and your mouth is unusually
dry so your tongue swells, cutting off the oxygen to
your brain. Panic grips you. Finally, just as you're
about to turn on your heels and make an undignified
dash for the nearest fire escape, the kindly
interviewer extends a friendly hand and welcomes
you. Now what do you do?
Fear not. Introductions don't have to be
embarrassing, distressing or tearful episodes.
Introductions can be easy and fun. You simply have
to approach things calmly and logically. Stop and
think about it for a moment. You're meeting someone
for the first time; it's a clean sheet, an
opportunity for you to write your own ticket without
preconceptions or bias getting in the way. All you
have to do is arrive on time, dress smartly, check
your teeth for remnants of your last meal, be
yourself and make sure you're wearing industrial
strength deodorant. What could be simpler? To build
up confidence you can always practice introducing
yourself in front of the bathroom mirror before you
actually attend any interviews. You might want to
try this in the comfort of your own home rather than
in the washroom of your local pizzeria, where
introducing yourself to fellow patrons might be
frowned upon.
Having successfully navigated the interview
introductions, your next big challenge is to deal
with an offer of refreshments. Something as
seemingly benign as a cup of tea or coffee can wreak
havoc during an interview. Having to juggle hot
liquids in flimsy plastic cups while convincing a
stranger of your marketing expertise or business
acumen should always be avoided. Accepting or
declining refreshments is something of a judgement
call, as you don't want to appear ill at ease, but
remember the risks are high. Loud slurping or
gulping won't endear you to the interviewer while
spilling hot chocolate down the front of your cream
and oatmeal business suit is a blunder few
candidates can easily recover from. So, if you find
fear and anxiety has made your mouth as dry as Death
Valley on the hottest day of the year simply ask for
a glass of water. It's probably your safest option.
According to certain eminent psychologists who study
such things, the first few minutes of any interview
are crucial in determining the final outcome. It
seems that first impressions really do count. With
the preliminaries over, it's time to tackle the main
event. By this stage of the game, you'll either be
brimming with confidence or desperate for the
lavatory, a cigarette and a family-sized candy bar.
Whatever happens, you must stay focussed on the task
at hand. 105 seconds is all the time you're going to
get to make the right impression. The key is not to
panic. DON'T PANIC! If you're properly prepared then
nothing can go wrong. You should know exactly what
questions to ask, what to say, and when to say it.
Try to anticipate the questions the interviewer is
likely to ask, and have your answers ready. But
remember, before answering pause for a moment. It
looks more natural. Keep your delivery clear,
consistent, positive, short and simple; then you
won't go far wrong. And try not to get sidetracked
or go off on a tangent.
However doubtful you are, take it on trust that
having your highly polished, recently manicured
fingernails pulled out with rusty tweezers is far
worse than your average job interview. Interviewers
aren't the monsters they might first appear. They're
just ordinary people doing a difficult job. If the
interviewer makes a poor decision then both you and
your new employer will suffer the consequences. The
best thing that you can probably do is place your
trust in the interviewer's experience while checking
the chair you're offered for chains and thumbscrews.
At the end of all this torment, after saying and
doing everything right, you still might not get the
job. Sometimes life is fickle. In such a case, try
to get some positive feedback on your interview
technique and move on.
Typically, just as you start to relax and feel
you're building a rapport with your interviewer,
you'll find the whole torturous process suddenly
coming to an end. And it's now, at the end of the
interview that you face your biggest challenge. As
your confidence level climbs, it's tempting to drop
your guard and divert from your original interview
strategy. Resist this impulse. Technically known as
'end-of-interview euphoria' you must fight the urge
to say something witty or clever. In the
intoxicatingly thin air of your newly found
confidence the chances are that your wit and
cleverness will be interpreted as glibness or even
rudeness. Take it from someone who has suffered this
fate; fight your urges and keep your mouth shut
without you're asked a direct question.
Maybe not the big finale you imagined or rehearsed,
but safer by far to conclude your interview with a
thank you, a smile and a gentle reminder of your
contact details. Before you stand up to leave,
especially if you're one of that daredevil breed who
recklessly accepts liquid refreshments, make sure
that everything spillable is out of harm's way. Now,
all that remains for you to do is get out of there.
At this last delicate stage of the proceedings it's
advisable not to run. Hazards are everywhere and
tripping over the wastebasket, upsetting the coffee
table or ripping the telephone line out of its
wall-socket will usually go against you. Whenever
possible, it's best to leave your potential new
employer's office building, fixtures and fittings
just as you found them. Play by the rules and you'll
walk out of there with a new job in the bag.
Congratulations. Alternatively, tomorrow's another
day and another interview.
Charlie Trumpess is a marketing communications
copywriter with over a decade's corporate
experience. Today he provides copywriting services
to small and medium size businesses. Visit
http://www.charlie-the-copywriter.co.uk.
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