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1)
Winning too much: The need to win
at all costs and in all situations -- when it
matters, when it doesn't, and when it's totally
beside the point.
2) Adding too much value: The
overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every
discussion.
3) Passing judgment: The need to
rate others and impose our standards on them.
4) Making destructive comments: The
needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think
make us sound sharp and witty.
5) Starting with "No," "But," or "However":
The overuse of these negative qualifiers
which secretly say to everyone, "I'm right. You're
wrong."
6) Telling the world how smart we are:
The need to show people we're smarter than they
think we are.
7) Speaking when angry: Using
emotional volatility as a management tool.
8) Negativity, or "Let me explain why that
won't work": The need to share our negative
thoughts even when we weren't asked.
9) Withholding information: The
refusal to share information in order to maintain an
advantage over others.
10) Failing to give proper recognition:
The inability to praise and reward.
11) Claiming credit that we don't deserve:
The most annoying way to overestimate our
contribution to any success.
12) Making excuses: The need to
reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent
fixture so people excuse us for it.
13) Clinging to the past: The need
to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events
and people from our past; a subset of blaming
everyone else.
14) Playing favorites: Failing to
see that we are treating someone unfairly.
15) Refusing to express regret: The
inability to take responsibility for our actions,
admit we're wrong, or recognize how our actions
affect others.
16) Not listening: The most
passive-aggressive form of disrespect for
colleagues.
17) Failing to express gratitude:
The most basic form of bad manners.
18) Punishing the messenger: The
misguided need to attack the innocent who are
usually only trying to help us.
19) Passing the buck: The need to
blame everyone but ourselves.
20) An excessive need to be "me":
Exalting our faults as virtues simply because
they're who we are.
Copyright 2007 Marshall Goldsmith
Marshall Goldsmith is corporate America's preeminent
executive coach and the author of What Got You Here
Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become
Even More Successful! (Published by Hyperion.
January 2007; $23.95US/$29.95CAN; 978-1-4013-0130-9)
Goldsmith is one of a select few consultants who
have been asked to work with more than eighty CEOs
in the world's top corporations. He has helped
implement leadership development processes that have
impacted more than one million people. His Ph.D. is
from UCLA and he is on the faculty of the executive
education programs at Dartmouth College's Tuck
School of Business. The American Management
Association recently named Marshall one of fifty
great thinkers and business leaders who have
impacted the field of management, and BusinessWeek
listed him as one of the influential practitioners
in the history of leadership development. In 2006,
Alliant International University renamed their
schools of business and organizational psychology
the Marshall Goldsmith School of Management.
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