Dictionary defines etiquette as conduct or procedure
required by good breeding or prescribed by authority
in social or official life. With this definition as
a guiding principle, etiquette is even more
important in a networking situation than in others
because most who are in the "taking" end do not even
realize that their behaviors - and even attitudes -
are making it hard for those at the "giving" end to
be gracious about being considerate.
Etiquettes are the lubrication that makes things
move smoothly. Ignoring them can create unnecessary
friction and hurt. The reason that knowing the right
etiquette is even more important in a job situation
is because the state of mind most job seekers are or
get into somehow makes them think that being in that
state should exempt them from this courtesy. It does
not matter if you are out of work looking for a job
or if you already have one and looking for another.
The level of stress is the same; it may just have a
different level of urgency!
Practicing the right etiquette will not only get
what you want, it will also help you position
yourself in a differentiated way in the eyes of
those who are at the "giving" end! The converse is
that if you are clumsy in the etiquette department,
you may not only lose an opportunity that is yours
to claim, you may permanently alienate the potential
employer beyond the immediate context!
In the
limited space it is impossible to provide a complete
guide to networking etiquette. The flavor of the
tips provided here can be used to understand the
basic behavioral principles that you can leverage in
similar situations. When in doubt, think of the
other person, not yourself! It is never your intent
(always good), but your behavior that is manifest
(can be boorish), and more importantly, the affect
(how it makes others feel) that ultimately dictates
how others respond to you!
Etiquette varies from situation to situation in
networking; however, within a certain situation the
etiquette can be considered a norm. The following
discussion is presented for many of the steps
typical during networking - social or cyber:
Networking etiquettes are flouted most frequently
with unwitting consequences! How? It is perhaps
because people are not even aware of the simple
slipups that can cascade into a full-blown avoidance
by the person at the other end of the network; amity
can turn into enmity with a simple oversight,
especially if you are looking to the other person to
do you a favor!
The
following tips are a good starting point to adopt
proper "netiquettes":
1. Your
successful networking is based on giving more than
you take. Always keep track of what is coming your
way from your network and make sure that you
maintain the balance with the network owing you not
the other way around. For example if you get two
leads from your network in a week, give three or
more back to the same network. Always manage to give
in kind! Remember, that you will get back in kind,
too!
2. If
you want to contact someone based on a tip you got
from within your network, make sure that you tell
the person you contacted what your relationship is
with the one who gave you the contact information.
You are not likely to get very far with the person
you contacted anyway, if, how you got the name
remains a mystery to the person and later on if that
person finds out the source, you may have
compromised their relationship. Always reveal the
source of the referral when making new contact!
3. Make
sure you keep the boundaries of your expectations
with each person within your network. Do not push
these boundaries. Your desperation in getting what
you want does not constitute an emergency on the
part of the person who is trying to help you! This
is why it is a good idea to keep networking a habit
in times, good and bad.
4. If
your source gives you the name of a hiring manager,
do not assume that you can directly contact that
manager. Some companies have strict rules about
keeping the hiring managers away from the flux of
inquiries and persistent calls from interested
candidates. Ask the person if it would be
appropriate for you to contact the manager or if
they are able to present your response to that
manager. All things being equal you should prefer
the former, as, then, it lets you keep track of what
is going on and you eliminate a third person from
getting in the way of your future interactions with
that manager! If this were to materialize your way,
always keep your contact apprised of what is going
on by sending a courtesy copy of your exchanges with
the manager.
5. In
addition to saying ‘thank you' every time you get
help, call once in a while just to thank that person
and for no other reason! Also send a thank you note
in the Mail. Many consider receiving this a special
gesture much more meaningful than just receiving a
‘thank you' email.
6. Make
sure that you keep the boundaries of when and where
to call your network contact to get what you are
looking for. The only contacts you should consider
calling at home and at off hours are your intimate
contacts, who, if they call you at such hours is
acceptable to you!
7. If
you are using the Internet as a channel of
communication within your networking group do not
use emails to solicit petitions, send spam, and
other messages of commercial import or the ones that
promote your personal agenda. Do not send chain
letters to your contacts in the network.
8. Do
not assume that those within your networking group
share your religious, political, or social beliefs.
If you foist them on the group it may retaliate by
alienation!
9. Do
not assume that if you subscribe to an email group,
such as a Yahoo! Group, that your message posted on
such a board will be read and heeded by all who
receive it. Many routinely ignore such group
messages. If you want someone's' attention then send
at least a personal message to each one!
10. Keep
your email messages brief and with a subject line
carefully phrased to pique curiosity and get action!
11. When
sending someone an invitation to join your network
(such as LinkedIn) make sure that you know them and
that the invitation is not a surprise. Linked in
policies require that you know everyone in your
network. This is what increases its value to all
those who join it.
12. If
you want someone to write you an endorsement for you
(on LinkedIn, for example), the best way is to write
them one first and see if they return the gesture in
kind.
13. When
attending weekly social networking sessions stay
upbeat and positive when narrating your job search
experiences. Too much negativity and woebegone tales
can bring down the energy of the entire meeting and
eventually, people will avoid such events.
14.
Manage your air time at such social networking
events. Make sure that others get their share of
"air time" as well.
15. If
you are going to social networking events to
overcome your deficit needs (shyness, fear of public
speaking) make sure that these activities do not
detract from the reason why everyone is there - to
network - and not help others with a forum for their
developmental needs. There are other forums for such
activities such as Toastmasters.
16. One
way to strengthen your networking resource is to
volunteer. Provide help in ways that comes naturally
for you and with the talents that you have.
17. When
you contact someone through a referral and the
person does not respond to you after two follow-ups,
do not pester them.
18. If
you have built a large network during your job
search, make sure that you keep building and
nurturing that network even after you get your new
job. Developing your network is an investment of
time, energy, and emotions. Do not let all of that
wither.
19.
Anyone who has gone out of their way to help you
during your transition serving as a great networking
resource deserves a special note of thanks. Call
them and tell them just that and also send a
personal handwritten Thank You! note by Mail to show
your appreciation! They will always remember how
much their gesture meant to you!
__________________
Dilip G. Saraf is a career and life coach
and the founder of Career Transitions Unlimited, a
Silicon Valley-based career coaching practice. Dilip,
starting as an engineer, has changed four careers
and has written five books on jobs, careers, and
corporate success. He has helped reinvent over 2,500
clients worldwide since 2001. He frequently appears
on CNN Headline News/Comcast Local Edition and other
media. Visit
www.7keys.org.
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